Just the other day I was out on my favorite social networking site when a video popped up on one of the pages I follow. It came out of the Rape Crisis Scotland’s “Not Ever” campaign in an attempt to debunk the myth that “women don’t “ask” to be raped, not ever.” The group in Scotland has recently premiered its first TV spot to work on the alarming prevalence of victim-blaming attitudes there. This is something the United States should consider as well!
The video, in a nutshell, went like this: A pretty girl in a bar is wearing a short skirt. Across the room a guy catches a glimpse of her and says to his friend: “Check out that skirt – she’s asking for it!” Then the video cuts to earlier in the day when the girl is shopping for something to wear that night. She’s in the store and the saleslady asks her if she needs some help. The girl replies: “Yeah, thanks, I’m going out tonight and I want to get raped. I need a skirt that will encourage a guy to have sex with me against my will.” The clerk excitedly says: “The blue one. Definitely the blue one.”
What?!? Are you kidding me? Are they serious? Women don’t flirt, drink or dress the way they do to get raped! The ad goes to show you how absurd that theory is.
The myth that sexual violence can be the victim’s fault if she dresses seductively, “leads” someone on, or says “no” when she really mean “yes” is simply that, a myth! Blaming the victim for the crime is the result of a myth that sexual violence is nothing more than sex. The fact is that sexual violence is a crime of power, a way for the powerless to feel stronger. It has nothing to do with the way someone dresses, acts or how much she’s had to drink. The law is, “NO MEANS NO.”
Do we ask a victim of a robbery at gunpoint if he struggled with the robber? No.
Do we ask him if he screamed or cried out? No.
Do we ask about his past and whether he’s given money away willingly before? Probably not without some other questions being asked. Most likely he has given money away willingly. He’s probably got a reputation for donating money to some organization.
How do we know that this wasn’t a set up for him to have his money taken away with force? We don't. We ask him what time this robbery occurred? He tells us at 11PM. What? 11PM? What was he doing out on the street at 11PM? He replies he was walking? Doesn’t he know that it’s dangerous to be walking out on the street that late at night? Wasn’t he aware that he could be held up or robbed? Oh, then we can ask, “What were you wearing?” Was it an expensive suit? Oh, I see, he was walking around on the streets late at night in a suit that shouted out that he had money. We might think that he was asking for it.
Does this happen to our robbery victim? No, we don’t ask these questions for this type of crime. Why do we ask those same questions to a rape victim?
She wasn’t asking for it. As if…
http://www.salon.com/life/broadsheet/2010/07/13/not_ever_rape
This topic of sexual assault is always current and relevant, especially to people who work in this field. To dispell myths of sexual assault is a very difficult thing. As advocates working to do this, it seems like we are always swimming upstream. We have to work to change the thoughts of many individuals. There are so few that believe that the victim isn't to blame; much more believe that the woman (victim) puts herself in that situation. Whatever happens to her is her fault. As advocates we need to shift the blame to the perpetrator; that would be the person who chose to rape the victim. It doesn't matter what the victim was doing, or where the victim was, she didn't deserve to be raped. Many times victims may make some bad decisions that put themselves at a higher risk but the end result should NEVER be rape.
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